כל אלמנה ויתום לא תענון" שמות כ"ב, כ"א"
You shall not oppress any widow or orphan.
רש"י explains: הוא הדין לכל אדם אלא שדבר הכתוב בהוה. לפי שהם תשושי כח ודבר מצוי לענותם., The same law applies to any man, but the Torah speaks of that which is prevalent, for they are weak and oppressing them is common.
To what extent must we be vigilant not to cause pain to another person? The סבא מסלבודקה teaches us that we learn from חז"ל that when were within four אמות of a grave one most hide his ציצית. This is because the deceased cannot perform mizvos and by having uncovered ציצית it as if we are shaming the dead. The Alter continues and says that it is common to visit קברי צדיקים in the month of Elul. It is then that our hearts are focused on the upcoming day of judgement, and certainly will have no thoughts of ridicule to the departed. Nevertheless, we are instructed to hide our ציצית lest it demonstrate a lack of sensitivity to the deceased.
Concludes the Alter, how much more must we be cautious in our interaction with “live” people, how we must be concerned that our countenance towards them must hide anything that will cause even the slightest pain.
We, who connect with children regularly, also have an overwhelming obligation not to cause any emotional pain. So many of our students might be the תשושי כח that רש"י makes reference to. We have the awesome task of raising their spirits with discipline and love, but not to cause pain ח"ו.
About the Author: Rabbi Yisroel Meir Rubinfeld
Rabbi Rubinfeld has been in the field of Torah education for over 3 decades and serves as an Executive School Consultant for Torah Umesorah. He provides an array of services to schools across North America, including teacher and principal mentorship, school and curricula evaluations, professional development and parent education.
Rabbi Rubinfeld's expertise includes classroom management and discipline, effective instruction, bullying, cultivating sensitivity in the classroom, impulse disorders (such as ADHD and ODD), and balancing the educational needs of mainstream and special needs children in the classroom.
Rabbi Rubinfeld is the also the founder and director of Torah Umesorah's Lilmod U'Lilamed department which provides professional development for teachers and principals throughout the year.
Rabbi Rubinfeld is a talmid of the distinguished Yeshivos of Yeshiva Rabbi Chaim Berlin, the Mirrer Yeshiva in Yerushalayim and Bais Medrash Govoha in Lakewood.
